A gift for our subscribers.

This is a book designed to be shared — with a friend, a family member, or anyone you know who is living with grief.

To make that easier, we’re offering our first 100 US-based readers an additional free copy, signed by Danielle, so you can pass one along while always having your own to return to.

Simply buy any edition from our website, Amazon, or any other bookstore, then email your proof of purchase and shipping address to contact@infinitebooks.com. We’ll take care of the rest.

Offer ends Friday, 8 May.

On a February morning, Danielle Crittenden’s world cleaved in two: the life before her daughter Miranda was found dead in her Brooklyn apartment, and the life after.

In this luminous memoir, Danielle maps the territory of profound loss with the clarity of a foreign correspondent filing reports from a country no parent ever wishes to visit.

With unflinching honesty and unexpected grace, she chronicles not just the shattering impact of a child’s death, but the strange afterlife of grief itself—the way it infiltrates grocery stores and social media, transforms old friendships and forges new ones, and ultimately reshapes the mourner as fundamentally as it has reshaped the world.

Here is grief in all its terrible specificity: the police call that changes everything, the surreal task of choosing a burial dress, the well-meaning friends who offer advice about “stages” that don’t exist. But here too is love in its most distilled form—a mother’s meditation on a daughter who commanded dinner tables at twelve, who once interviewed Dick Cheney with a child’s notebook, who transformed from a precocious girl into a sparkling young woman living her dreams in New York.

Danielle brings a journalist’s eye to the landscape of loss, coining the perfect term for those who try to explain grief to the grieving (“griefsplaining”), finding dark comedy in a hotel clerk’s relentless cheerfulness, and discovering that C.S. Lewis told more truth about mourning in seventy-three pages than a library of self-help books. She writes of joining what she calls “the alternative universe”—parents who have lost children—and of the terrible wisdom its members share.

Written with the narrative power that has made Danielle one of our most incisive observers of family and culture, Dispatches from Grief stands as both a singular portrait of loss and a universal exploration of love’s aftermath. It will speak to anyone who has loved deeply, lost profoundly, and wondered how to continue when continuation seems impossible.

For those walking through their own valleys of grief, this book offers not false comfort but true companionship. For those who love someone who is grieving, it provides a window into a world that can only be understood from within. And for all readers, it serves as a reminder that our time with those we love is both more precious and more precarious than we dare imagine.

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Early Praise

A little masterpiece. I was pulled through in one voracious sitting, moved by every line. Dispatches from Grief joins the literary canon of great books about mourning and the search for solace.

— Tina Brown, author of The Vanity Fair Diaries and The Palace Papers

Dispatches from Grief moves with the power of a freight train over rough terrain. Danielle Crittenden makes us eyewitnesses to the hour-by-hour crawl through grief. What I will remember forever is the transformation of the griever; the steady, unpredictable process of ripping and restitching; and the resilient enormity of a mother’s love…Crittenden has been through hell, but has not emerged with empty hands.

— David Brooks, New York Times columnist and bestselling author of The Second Mountain

Danielle Crittenden’s writing is spare without being stark, her story desperate without being humorless, her attitude open-hearted without being banal. She captures kaleidoscopically what was remarkable about her daughter Miranda, weaving in the exquisite and often joyous dynamics of her family. Writing this book was an act of strength…Her words ring with truth, love, clarity, and courage.

— Andrew Solomon, National Book Award–winning author of Far from the Tree and The Noonday Demon

Having read many books about grief, I found Danielle Crittenden’s Dispatches from Grief to be something rare. After her daughter’s sudden death, she writes with raw emotion and uncommon literary skill that ultimately instructs us. We take the journey from devastation to transformation alongside her, learning—and feeling—every step of the way…What this beautiful book reminds us is that bonds of love can continue forever, but in a new way. No closure required.

— Pauline Boss, Professor Emeritus, University of Minnesota; author of Ambiguous Loss and The Myth of Closure

This beautiful book is, above all, a love story. Danielle Crittenden’s undying love for her daughter lights the way through the labyrinth of grief, making it possible for the rest of us to follow her down the dark and winding paths. It’s here that we come to meet a beautiful, brilliant girl named Miranda, whose memory her mother shepherds—capturing her wit and kindness and glamour, mixing touches of gentle humor with fathomless sorrow. A luminous and highly original memoir, Dispatches from Grief is also a final act of mothering.

— Abigail Tucker, New York Times bestselling author of The Lion in the Living Room and Mom Genes

Danielle Crittenden does something grief writers rarely do. She tells the truth. All of it. As a fellow exile in the land of grief, I found tears falling—then laughing out loud at a phrase—then that deep, coarse crying only grievers know. It was a good cry: my grief bowing to hers. Danielle has given us the gift of knowing her daughter Miranda. And then she gives us something more: how, when she was ready, she began to make Miranda’s life more important than her death. Not healed. Something other. Something that inspires rather than deadens. I am grateful to Danielle and Miranda. I am grateful for this book.

— Jan Warner, author of Grief Day by Day and founder of Grief Speaks Out

Stunning, beautiful, and true on every page, Dispatches from Grief takes us on a journey through the unimaginable heartbreak of a parent and a family. Nothing is sugarcoated; nothing is wished or reasoned away. And yet, what emerges is a portal into the most enduring realities of our lives—that all we really have is each other, that family is everything, and that memories sustain us. The most moving and important book I’ve read in years.

— Robert Kurson, New York Times bestselling author of Shadow Divers and Rocket Men

Dispatches from Grief - Out Today

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About Danielle

Danielle Crittenden is a journalist, author, and former host of the podcast The Femsplainers, known for her incisive and original commentary on women, family, and modern life. In addition to writing a popular monthly newsletter on Substack, her work has appeared in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and more. She is the author of four previous books, including What Our Mothers Didn't Tell Us: Why Happiness Eludes the Modern Woman, praised by Vanity Fair as the work of "one of the most important new thinkers about women and family." Born in Toronto, she now lives in Washington, D.C. with her husband, journalist and author David Frum.

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When people find out that I’ve written a memoir, the reaction is usually the same: surprise, followed by confusion. What’s a fund manager doing writing about growing up among heroin addicts in 1980s Madrid?

It’s a fair question. My professional life has been spent analyzing markets and companies, founding Variant Perception, a research firm for asset managers, and now serving as Chief Investment Officer at Prevatt Capital. My published works include The Myth of Capitalism and other books about markets. A coming-of-age story about missionaries, drug rehabs, and the AIDS epidemic doesn’t exactly fit the pattern.

But here’s what I’ve learned: we don’t choose the stories that shape us. We only get to decide whether we tell them.

We’re giving away free spots to a live Q&A with Jonathan, hosted by our Senior Editor Dylan O’Sullivan, on Wednesday, March 18 at 5 PM ET. Enter the lucky draw below — submissions close Sunday, March 8.

Enter the Lucky Draw

An Unlikely Beginning

I started writing Shooting Up in 2005, when I was a junior analyst at SAC Capital, an intense, demanding hedge fund. My days were consumed by financial models and earnings calls.

One day, I was browsing a bookstore on Manhattan’s Upper West Side when I stumbled upon Flying Over 96th Street: Memoir of an East Harlem White Boy by Thomas L. Webber. Dr Webber wrote eloquently about growing up as an outsider in East Harlem because of the Christian calling of his parents. His coming-of-age story is elegiac, moving and deeply empathetic.

I realized then that my story — the story of my friends and family — needed to be told. For the next three years, I wrote in stolen moments during the evenings and weekends. By 2008, I had a complete manuscript. Then I did what many writers do — I put it in a drawer and moved on with my life after a few rejections.

(The usual rejection from publishers was, “It’s beautiful and moving, but I’m not sure there is an audience for it.” Also, who wants to read a literary memoir from a finance bro? I took comfort in the fact that editors repeatedly rejected Elie Wiesel’s Night, JK Rowling’s Harry Potter, and countless other books that eventually found their audience.)

A Long Pause

I put the manuscript aside because life got in the way. I helped found Demotix, a citizen journalism platform that we eventually sold to Corbis (then owned by Bill Gates). I built Variant Perception from scratch with dear friends. I wrote a few economics books. I started Prevatt Capital. The urgent always seemed to crowd out the important.

Then, a few years ago, a mentor who is a successful fund manager told me, “You should get this published before your father dies.” I went back to editing evenings and weekends and got a book contract soon after.

What You’ll Find in These Pages

Shooting Up is the story of my childhood in San Blas, a working-class neighborhood in Madrid that became Europe’s largest open-air drug market in the 1980s. My parents, Elliott and Mary Tepper, were American missionaries who felt called to work with heroin addicts. Our family of six — my parents and four blond, blue-eyed boys — stuck out in the barrio.

Our apartment became “Hotel Tepper,” a revolving door of recovering addicts. We opened our lives to men like Raúl, who had been an armed robber and a desperate junkie. Like Jambri, who had robbed banks as a getaway driver and spent five years in Madrid’s largest prison. They became my older brothers, my teachers, my friends.

The book follows the explosive growth of Betel, the drug rehabilitation center my parents founded with Lindsay McKenzie (an Australian missionary) in our living room. From a single addict detoxing in Lindsay’s apartment, it grew to house hundreds, then thousands of recovering addicts worldwide.

But this isn’t really a book about drug rehabilitation. It’s about love in the most unlikely places. It’s about my parents’ unflinching commitment to people society had written off. It’s about men and women society deemed worthless discovering their own dignity and purpose.

Get Your Copy of Shooting Up Today

The Shadow of AIDS

The book is also a chronicle of the AIDS epidemic as it devastated Spain in the late 1980s and early 1990s. Spain had the highest rate of HIV infection in Europe, and the virus spread primarily through shared heroin needles. My neighborhood was ground zero.

Almost all my older brothers and sisters in the rehab were HIV+. In high school, I spent evenings and weekends at the infectious diseases ward of Ramón y Cajal Hospital. I learned the progression of the disease — the fevers, the pneumonias, and countless infections — through watching friends waste away.

An Improbable Education

Despite growing up in what most would consider poor and disadvantaged circumstances, my brothers and I thrived academically. When exchange rates made our missionary school unaffordable, my mother homeschooled us. Without formal textbooks, we taught ourselves everything.

My older brother David sent me his university books, and I worked through college-level economics, chemistry, history, and many other subjects in high school. Jambri sent Italian novels and a small black Bible that became my primer for learning the language. I memorized passages from Dante’s Divine Comedy, not for school but because the words offered solace and beauty in a world full of suffering.

My inspiration to learn was Santiago Ramón y Cajal, the first Spaniard to win a Nobel Prize in sciences. Whenever I visited my friends in the infectious diseases ward at Ramón y Cajal Hospital, I saw his quote in the entrance, “Every man can become the sculptor of his own mind if he sets himself the task.”

Why This Book Matters Now

You might wonder why a memoir about 1980s Madrid matters today. While the story of growing up among heroin addicts during the AIDS epidemic is unique, Shooting Up is a universal story of love and loss. None of us can outrun sickness, death or suffering. I hope the book is timeless and provides comfort to those who suffer, reminding them that they have dignity and are not alone.

This is also a book about how we treat the most vulnerable among us. About whether society’s outcasts deserve love, dignity, and second chances. About the difference that a few committed individuals can make when they refuse to look away from suffering.

It’s also about the consolations of learning and literature. In a world that increasingly measures education by economic returns and career outcomes, Shooting Up is a reminder that books and learning can be lifelines, sources of beauty and meaning, tools for sculpting our own minds and transcending our circumstances. I hope it is a reminder that we read to know we’re not alone.

The Act of Remembering

Finally, this book is an act of remembering. My friends from San Blas — Raúl, Jambri, Manolo, Ángel, Trini, and so many others — died largely anonymous deaths in the height of the AIDS crisis.

One day in 1996 I read an article that said forty thousand Spaniards had died of AIDS. I took my address book and counted friends from Betel who had died. I stopped at twenty-five and wasn’t halfway through. I was ashamed. These were not statistics; they were my friends, and I loved them.

They were remarkable people who showed extraordinary courage in the face of a disease that terrified the world. They created a community of love and mutual support that has now helped hundreds of thousands of addicts worldwide.

Raúl, the first addict in Betel, once said that the most beautiful story anyone can tell is the story of his own life. I do not know if my story is beautiful, but it is the only one I have. Some writers make a fetish of their suffering and wear it like a medal. Others treat memoirs like letters in a bottle, hoping to send the pain out to sea, never to be seen again. I wrote this book because words keep time from bleaching the colors out of memories, the fading snapshots of the past.

I wrote Shooting Up because I wanted to tell my friends’ stories. I hope the memory of my friends might be a blessing to others.

Buy Shooting Up Today

PRAISE FOR SHOOTING UP

Shooting Up is an extraordinary memoir of a unique childhood among heroin addicts during the AIDS epidemic, but it is a universal story of love and loss that is powerfully moving. At a time when society is so deeply divided—and faith is a wedge that is often used—it is refreshing to read a missionary kid’s true story of compassion and empathy for the outcasts. The book is also a tale filled with grace and humor in life’s darkest moments.

— George Stephanopoulos, political commentator and Good Morning America and ABC Sunday News anchor

Shooting Up is an astonishing work that opens your eyes—and your heart—to a whole new world, one that is as beautiful and inspiring as it is gritty and harrowing. Jonathan Tepper is an extraordinarily gifted writer who has somehow managed to write a memoir that is at once heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and joyous.

— Amy Chua, Yale Law professor and author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and The Golden Gate

In stark, often heart-rending prose, Jonathan tells the story of growing up with his three brothers and missionary parents in San Blas, a drug-overrun neighborhood of Madrid. It is a tale of tragedy and triumph in the midst of loss and death. Ultimately, Shooting Up is a powerful testament to the redemptive power of faith, friendship, and love. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. I cried, I laughed, I was changed.

— Tom Webber, author of Flying Over 96th Street: Memoir of an East Harlem White Boy

Shooting Up recounts a young man’s coming of age in the unlikeliest of places and finds joy, wisdom, and humor in the darkest of moments. Reading this book made me think anew about grace, gratitude, and the hard roads that take us there.

— Daniel Swift, author of Bomber County

Jonathan Tepper’s story is remarkable. From his father’s dramatic conversion to the years pioneering Betel, this is the story of no ordinary family. I am so glad that Jonathan is sharing his extraordinary experience through this account.

— Nicky Gumbel, pioneer of the Alpha course and former vicar of Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB) in London

I, too, grew up as a home-schooled “missionary kid,” so I “get” Jonathan Tepper’s brilliant memoir Shooting Up. Tepper’s story about addiction, AIDS and his parents’ work with addicts in Spain in the 1990s is an insanely entertaining and wild account. In fact, it’s the most riveting memoir I’ve ever read. Who else recalls his childhood with lines like these? “As a graduation gift, my father took me to see drug rehabs. It was what we did as a family.”

Frank Schaeffer, author of Crazy for God

It has been one of the privileges of my life to know the Tepper family and witness first-hand the marvel that is Betel, where countless people have found hope, healing, community, and new beginnings. Here, in his memoir Shooting Up, Jonathan Tepper, with great skill, eloquence, humor, and provocation, tells us the extraordinary story of Betel. This is not just another read—it’s an event.

— Simon Ponsonby, priest, author, and teacher at St. Aldate’s, Oxford

Jonathan Tepper’s gut-wrenching, inspiring memoir Shooting Up immerses you so deeply in its characters that you feel as if you’re living—and suffering—alongside them. Set amid the ravages of the AIDS epidemic in Madrid, this gorgeously crafted coming-of-age story is both luminous and profoundly humane. An unforgettable read that’s impossible to put down.

— Joseph Luzzi, author of My Two Italies and In a Dark Wood: What Dante Taught Me About Grief, Healing, and the Mysteries of Love

This is a fascinating story, brilliantly told. It recounts the work of two little-known but remarkable American missionaries in the drug-saturated streets of San Blas, Madrid, in an age of AIDS and addiction, told through the eyes of one of their sons. It is gripping, harrowing and tragic - yet somehow also a story of faith, courage and hope.

— The Rt Revd Dr Graham Tomlin; Director of the Centre for Cultural Witness

A remarkable, true-life story about an American family offering salvation in Spain’s slums… an unadorned coming-of-age memoir rooted in faith and humble acts of service. Our Verdict: GET IT

— Kirkus

Riveting memoir exploring missionary work, addiction, and human kindness…

— Booklife

Shooting Up: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Addiction is published by Little, Brown in the UK and Infinite Books in the US.

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We’re opening up a small number of spots for readers to join us live, for free, via a lucky draw.

Dylan will leave plenty of time for audience Q&As, so come ready. This is your chance to ask Jonathan about the book, his extraordinary childhood, his writing process, or anything else!

The Q&A will take place on Wednesday, March 18, at 5 PM ET. If you’d like to be in the room (virtually), submit your entry here by Sunday, March 8:

Enter the Lucky Draw

We’ll draw winners and notify them by email ahead of the 18th. It’s a short form — takes less than a minute. Don’t miss it!

Shooting Up: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Addiction is out now. Jonathan Tepper grew up handing out leaflets to heroin addicts in Madrid’s most notorious drug slum. He watched his dearest friends die of AIDS. He lost his little brother. He went on to become a Rhodes Scholar. This is his memoir. Described as “extraordinary” and “powerfully moving” by ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, Shooting Up is published by Infinite Books in the US. Buy the book.

Manhattan Book Launch: Photos

It was a great evening! A few photos:

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We’re honored to share the first chapter of Jonathan Tepper’s Shooting Up: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Addiction, published today in the US by Infinite Books.

Described as “extraordinary” and “powerfully moving” by ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, this is Jonathan’s story of growing up in the shadows of Madrid’s most notorious drug slum, where his missionary parents decided to plant a church among heroin addicts.

While other kids play soccer, Jonathan befriends bank robbers and former prostitutes. His heroes are guys like Raúl and Jambri, charismatic ex-addicts rebuilding their lives through the drug rehabilitation center Jonathan’s parents helped found.

Jonathan writes with unflinching honesty about the magnetic pull of the streets, the seductive danger of heroin, and the complicated love between broken people healing together. It’s raw, it’s hopeful, and it’s unlike anything we’ve read.

We think you’ll feel the same. Here’s chapter one.

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CHUTANDO

Shooting Up

We were on the lookout for yonkis. My brothers and I shuffled our piles of pamphlets, hoping to get rid of them.

My father had been very clear. Before we headed out from our apartment, he called the family together in the living room, and we put our toy soldiers aside. Dad took a small mountain of religious tracts in his hands. He divided it into small piles, and we folded them neatly. It took forever, and we started aligning the edges one by one, but we soon learned to fold them ten by ten by pushing all our weight onto them. They covered our coffee table, and when we were done, the pile rose thicker than a phone book.

“Give them to anyone who looks like a heroin addict. Don’t come back empty handed,” he told us. “You will get an ice cream of whatever flavor you want if you do.”

I would definitely have a chocolate ice cream.

“Do you hear me, Jonathan?”

I nodded.

Dad prayed to bless our endeavor, and we headed out to find junkies.

One of the best places to find the addicts was by the Metro near Parque El Paraíso. Little Timothy, who was only two, played at my mother’s feet, as she stood by my father. David, Peter, and I moved through the sand and patches of green in El Paraíso, glancing from side to side for anyone who might look like a yonki. I had watched the junkies shoot up near our apartment, so it wouldn’t be hard to recognize them.

My older brother, David, took off, determined to give everyone a copy of the pamphlet. He sprinted in the distance and chased a frightened Spanish kid as he forced the tract into his hand. In his excitement, David forgot the pamphlets were only for junkies. My younger brother Peter stayed close to me.

The pamphlet said VEN, which means “Come” in Spanish. Our phone number appeared on the back, if they wanted to call us and get off drugs. It served as an unusual invitation to our home.

Under the headline, “I AM DRUGS,” a smiling skeleton reached out his claw-like fingers toward the reader as he introduced himself:

It’s me who in the beginning makes you live beyond the present world full of problems. But with time I am the very thing you cannot live without. After you have tried me, you’re mine for the rest of your life.

I am destroying your life in every area—physically, morally, and spiritually. It’s me who has destroyed your family. It’s me that caused you to go to prison.

I have you trapped.

You are in love with me. There is nothing in the world that can break our love affair.

The skeleton scared me a little; that was the point.

I gave my first pamphlet to a young man drinking a litrona of beer and eating sunflower seeds. He examined the paper and mouthed the words as he read them.

By the grass I spotted a man leaning against a park bench. His skull tilted to one side, his eyes staring into nowhere. His hair appeared oily and matted with dirt. I squatted and pushed the piece of paper into his hand, but he did not respond. I slid it into his shirt pocket.

“Keep it. It’s got a phone number. Dial it if you want to get off drugs,” I said, my small voice barely rising above a whisper.

He looked up, his eyelids moving as if time proceeded more slowly for him than for me. I stared at him, and he stared back at me.

“You’re a guiri. You look Swedish but sound Mexican.”

“I’m not Swedish. I’m American. My parents are missionaries.”

“If I were you, I’d lose that fucking accent.”

I was only seven, and I had spent almost all my life speaking Spanish the wrong way.

I nodded.

“You’ve got the pamphlet. Don’t lose it, OK?”

Having escaped that encounter, I walked further ahead and found two men lying on a patch of grass. They were smoking cigarettes, but their sunken cheeks and rotting teeth told me they were junkies.

One man used the hollow of the bottoms of Coke cans to cook heroin powder with lemon juice before he drew it into the syringe. He shot up and blood speckled the syringe, and then he passed on the needle. My heart thumped as I approached. When they finished, they lay back, their eyes drifting into a hollow stare before closing and shutting out the world around them.

But I persisted, tapping the first guy on the shoulder and offering him a pamphlet.

“Déjame en paz, chaval, o te rajo.”—Leave me alone, kid, or I’ll slit you.

I smiled nervously and backed away, relieved they did not get up to follow me.

Most of the addicts, though, took the pamphlets and put them in their pocket without saying a word. Others read the pamphlets as they drifted away. I hoped we would see them again.

As I walked up to yonkis, I studied them from a distance and learned to read their moods. Were they on edge and out to get money to buy drugs? Were they already high? My father said addicts might hurt each other, but they’d leave us alone. Bullies who bark are scared animals who almost never bite, he said.

David, Peter, and I obeyed with unquestioning enthusiasm. Perhaps it was my parents’ belief that God Himself would protect us that gave my brothers and me safe passage. Maybe it was the innocence of childhood. We were too small, too blond, and too odd to be a threat to anyone.

I stepped among the broken syringes, their needles glistening before me. They were everywhere in San Blas. I had seen them in the dump behind our apartment and by the buildings down the street. They blanketed the entrance to the Gypsy camp. The junkies scavenged for used syringes and rebuilt them, mixing a needle from one and the body of another if the blood inside had not dried. Then they shared them.

As the sun set, the distant orange glow of cigarette ends guided me like faint beacons. My pile was thinning out, and one by one I gave out the leaflets until none remained.

We returned home empty handed. No leaflets. But no addicts either. That was OK, though. My father told us we had planted seeds in men’s hearts. Soon the harvest time would come.

My father was happy. I was too as I licked the chocolate ice cream.

When we arrived in Madrid, my three brothers and I—all blond-haired, blue-eyed American boys—did not look at all like the Spaniards around us. We were the only foreigners I knew in the neighborhood.

We had gone from being Christian missionaries in Mexico to missionaries in Spain. I had lived almost all my life abroad, as we marched wherever God ordered. We were to be His shining witnesses, following His call to preach the gospel to the ends of the earth. Madrid wasn’t a jungle in Africa, but our neighborhood of San Blas might as well have been the edge of the world.

The umbilical cord back to our homeland was a microscopic black-and-white TV that we had to crowd around to watch. My parents thought television corrupted, not only morally, but intellectually. They relented and bought one for the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles. Spain only had two TV channels, but they showed Carl Lewis win his gold medals in track and field, and Michael Jordan crush the Spaniards 96–65 in the basketball final.

When America won, we danced and chanted, “USA, USA, USA!”

“Keep your voices down!” my mother scolded. “Our neighbors won’t be happy tonight.”

It wasn’t only on the field and court that we beheld America’s might. We felt it too when the F-16s streaked across the sky toward the NATO airbase in Torrejón. We had never visited, but the rumor was you could buy A&W Root Beer and M&Ms at the commissary. And I connected with American culture when I coaxed the radio dial. The Armed Forces Network station played Chuck Berry, Miles Davis, and John Coltrane. But America remained far away: a place to which we only retreated on our missionary furlough every four years. Meanwhile, my mother’s beautiful, handwritten letters to America took weeks to arrive, and transatlantic phone calls were a rare, expensive treat. We were adrift, on our own.

Millions of Americans lived scattered abroad, and Dad said we could be proud Americans and at home anywhere in the world. American expats had a long tradition going back to Thomas Jefferson and President John Quincy Adams, who spoke eight languages. Great writers like Henry James, Ernest Hemingway, and T. S. Eliot had lived in other countries. Some Americans served in the armed forces, while others went to distant lands with Coca-Cola or the Peace Corps, and some were even missionary kids like me. Americans spread out, sprinkled about like specks of light in the night sky, brightening the world.

Our walls at home were sparse, even monastic. Not monastic like we were Catholics, because we were Protestants, even though my parents said God loved Catholics too. My father said many only went to church for the photographs of the first communion. The only things that adorned the walls by our dinner table in San Blas were small plaques and two posters—nothing fancy and not even framed, because it was the message that counted.

In the entrance, a small plaque hung with a quote from C. T. Studd, the founder of our mission: “Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop, within a yard of hell.”

In the room, on one side hung Freedom from Want, a Norman Rockwell print of a perfect American family eating Thanksgiving dinner. America was a land we had left behind. The precision of the painting made it look like a photo. It reminded me of home, even though as a missionary kid, I never had a home—not that I particularly minded. In the picture the grandparents looked like my mom’s parents back in the US, just a little shorter and chubbier. Or I may have been confusing things; my ideas of the place came from faded family photos and Time magazine covers.

On the other wall was a poster of a shepherd clinging to the edge of a cliff, his arm outstretched toward his lost sheep. An eagle swooped in the distance to seize the sheep with its sharp, giant claws. The way it looked to me, the shepherd was about to fall into the ravine with his sheep. He was barely holding on. Dad said the good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep. I just hoped he made it back up.

The images overlooked our family meals.

Dad quoted the Bible, as usual, “Which of you men, if you had one hundred sheep, and lost one of them, wouldn’t leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one that was lost, until he found it?”

He said that’s what missionaries do, leaving behind the flock in America in search for the lost sheep. “Pastor” meant “shepherd” in Latin, after all...

We didn’t have a church yet. In fact, we didn’t have any sheep. We would have to find them. That was our mission.

Dad even placed The Great Commission with our family photo above his desk. It said, “Elliott and Mary Tepper, missionaries to Spain,” and below that, Mark 16:15: “And He said to them, ‘Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.’” He had copies printed so American churchgoers could hang it on their refrigerators and wouldn’t forget we existed as the years passed.

Dad explained to us in our usual morning devotional—our interminable daily Bible reading and prayer session—that God loves sinners, and we would bring them to Him. “I tell you that even so there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents, than over ninety-nine righteous people who need no repentance.”

I thought Dad said that because he’d been a sinner and God saved him like the little sheep. Even though he grew up Jewish in Long Island, he found Jesus after doing LSD at Harvard Business School. Make money, not war, and avoid the draft, his friends said, but he yearned for something else. That was when he and the hippies used mescaline and listened to Dylan and Baez. Their words lit the steps on the path to truth. He lived on a commune, but not a seedy one, he said, more like one for people from Harvard and MIT. That was before he met God.

Dad’s arms grew hard from college wrestling, and he only spanked us with a reluctant resolve when we did not do exactly as he and Mom said. He was a clown who could walk up three flights of stairs doing handstands, do thirty one-handed push-ups, and wrestled my brothers and me on the carpet all at once until we were sweaty and stinky before dinner, which Mom did not like. But he was soft too. Words tugged at his soul, and he cried at the dinner table when he read stories to us.

“My body is broken. I go to my fathers. And even in their mighty company I shall not now be ashamed.” That’s what Théoden said in Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings before he died. And it made my father sad.

My father told us we needed to be wise and brave, but above all noble like Théoden: “True nobility is in our hearts.”

Dad had grand visions of rescuing the lost sheep. He said he saw things beyond the veil that others did not. He told us at morning devotionals that when he died, we must put the words of Genesis 37:19 on his tombstone: “Look, here comes the dreamer.”

We would find the sheep, he reassured us, even if I couldn’t see them yet.

My mother didn’t need to be rescued by God. She had known Him since she was a young girl in Sunday school. If she hadn’t been born a Southern Baptist in Wilmington, North Carolina, she would have been a grand dame with a portrait in a museum. She stood tall and serene and always looked at ease. She spoke with no Southern accent like her parents, and when she talked in Spanish, she did so without fault. Even though she had never been outside of the US before becoming a missionary, she had poise, never looked out of place, and always had the right thing to say.

My mother was the Sancho Panza to Dad’s quixotic dreams and the only one who could bend his plans and moderate his visions. Although she was tall and he was shorter, which was not like in my Don Quixote comic book. She was the one we went to if Dad wanted to spank us. She read my thoughts and looked after my brothers and me, yet not once did I wonder or ask how she felt about caring for four boys and a dreamer. She held little Timothy and smiled when we said goodbye to her parents in Wilmington, but she turned away to hide her tears and follow my father’s visions into the distant unknown.

My mother packed our bags neatly and tightly; she fitted everything into the smallest number of suitcases possible. She had labeled and ordered everything. My father may have been the ringleader of the Tepper circus, but my mother kept the show on the road.

My aunt said they married first and fell in love later. They had a shared mission when they married, but had to figure out how to live with each other.

Mom and Dad were on a mission. Everything else, they told us, pales in the light of eternity. We had to abandon it all for the sake of the call.

C. S. Lewis wrote, “Everything that is not eternal is eternally out of date.” That was why we had few earthly belongings.

Next to our dinner table sat a bookcase Dad had made by hand from cheap wood to house our World Book encyclopedias and National Geographic magazines. David was ten and had read them all. He remembered how many pages were in each volume, and he knew which numbers were primes and therefore more beautiful. But I didn’t see what he saw in numbers. I advanced more slowly as my curiosity flitted back and forth like a butterfly alighting on pages. I lingered at the letter S, lost somewhere between Somalia and Suriname.

The encyclopedias were my favorite things in the world, even more than my green World War II toy soldiers and Matchbox cars. I burned with desire to know everything, and in the National Geographics and encyclopedias, it was mine for the taking.

If your parents are engineers, plumbers, or lawyers, it doesn’t matter one bit to your life, but if your parents are missionaries, it changes everything. You can’t pick your parents, but they get to pick your life. They decide where you’ll live, when you’ll pack your bags and go, and you’ll get roped into their work saving the lost.

I couldn’t decide almost anything about my life, but with my books and encyclopedias, my mind was free to roam where it wanted. Books could fit in any backpack, yet they contained entire worlds. They were my magic carpet to change reality and take me wherever I wanted.

Books filled every corner of our small apartment. My parents had made a study with bookcases that lined the walls from the floor to the ceiling, as my father had when he was growing up. Books were stacked randomly in piles on the carpet like stalagmites. My parents said books had the power to transport and transform you.

David shared a room with Timmy, and I bunked with Peter, who was only one year, two months, and one day younger than me. But my parents’ books had a room all to themselves.

Theology, history, and poetry books were the only thing we brought with us to Spain. Forget Betty Crocker cake mixes, American candy, and other things that useless missionaries bring.

“They’ll never cut it on the mission field,” my father said of the weak missionaries who had heard God’s call but were not prepared to pay the price. “They’re chocolate soldiers who will melt when they face the heat.”

No. Real missionaries were like the Olympic gold medalist Eric Liddell. He was our hero, and when we ran, we held our heads high just as he did. Like me, Liddell grew up in a missionary family. The film Chariots of Fire ends with the words: “Eric Liddell, missionary, died in occupied China at the end of World War II. All of Scotland mourned.” He taught classes to the children in the Japanese internment camp until his dying day.

My parents wanted to start a church among university students—the sort of people who liked books and learning as much as we did, the sort of people you could have conversations with and argue with at the dinner table late into the night.

That was how my father visited universities in Madrid in search of converts, but he returned home downcast and empty handed. He shut the front door, took off his tweed jacket, made a cup of tea, and retreated to his study to read the Bible and pray. The students did not want eternal salvation, even if it was free.

Every day he ventured out to the universities to speak to students about Jesus, and every day he returned alone. This continued for months, but their response was always the same. I felt sorry for him that his job was not easier.

“Their hearts are hard,” Dad said.

My father strained a smile and promised that soon God would send us sheep, but he retreated to the study where his cups of tea and small lithographs of Cambridge University consoled him. They reminded him of the year he spent studying economics at Selwyn College and how he stepped into its chapel and heard the voice of God when the choir sang. But like the university students in Madrid, he did not heed the call the first time God came to him. That only happened later after Harvard Business School when he had a vision of heaven and hell, and God told him to give his life to Him. My father obeyed and threw himself through a storefront window close to Harvard Yard.

The doctors who sewed him up thought it was LSD. My father said it was God.

His story sounded weird even to me. “Why did God make you jump through a window?” I asked.

“Milton and Dante had visions of heaven and hell. The Apostle Paul’s vision on the way to Damascus was strange, but Paul changed the world. Sometimes you’ve got to be a little strange to change the world.”

Dad stared off into the distance, enraptured in thought. He played Joan Baez’s “Forever Young” again. I pulled at his arm and twirled the hair on his forearms into curls to get his attention, but he put his finger to his lips. The music, he told me, was from a time when righteousness, truth, and beauty mattered. Today, no one cared. But we would bring light to the lost.

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In the shadows of Madrid’s most notorious drug slum, an American missionary family plants roots among heroin addicts and builds an unlikely church. Shooting Up is Jonathan Tepper’s searing memoir of a childhood spent in San Blas, where syringes littered playgrounds and his closest friends were recovering junkies twice his age.

When Elliott and Mary Tepper arrive in 1985 with their four young sons, San Blas is ground zero of Europe’s heroin epidemic. While other children play soccer, Jonathan befriends bank robbers and former prostitutes. His heroes aren’t athletes but men like Raúl and Jambri, charismatic ex-addicts who transform their lives through the revolutionary drug rehabilitation center the Teppers help found.

What begins as eight men in an apartment becomes Betel, now one of the world’s largest drug rehabilitation networks. But this isn’t a story of institutional triumph. It’s an intimate portrait of radical compassion amid the AIDS crisis, told through the eyes of a boy watching his parents choose the damned over the respectable, witnessing miracles and tragedies in equal measure.

Tepper writes with unflinching honesty about the magnetic pull of the streets, the seductive danger of heroin, and the complicated love between broken people healing together. His prose—elegant yet raw—captures both the squalor of addiction and the stubborn persistence of grace.

This is a memoir about choosing to see beauty in ruins, finding family among outcasts, and learning that the answer to suffering is always more love. It is a story of love and loss, but it is also a love letter to friends, family, and even learning. Part Angela’s Ashes, part The Cross and the Switchblade, Shooting Up announces Tepper as a powerful new voice in memoir, one who transforms a harrowing childhood into an unforgettable testament to hope.

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1. Hardcover + Digital (hardcover ships by February 17, 2026; digital delivered by late January);

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3. Exclusive Signed First-Edition Bundle.

The Signed First-Edition Bundle includes:

• Signed First-Edition Hardcover of Shooting Up (ships by February 17, 2026)

• Exclusive moderated Q&A with the author (recording included)

• Early Access to the Audiobook + E-book (delivered by late January)

• Infinite Books Bookmark

• For every Signed First-Edition Bundle purchased, one copy of Shooting Up will be donated to a partner organization serving individuals and communities impacted by addiction and HIV/AIDS. Donation partners and distribution are selected and coordinated directly by our team to ensure books reach appropriate programs.

  

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About Jonathan

Jonathan Tepper is the author of several acclaimed financial books, including The Myth of Capitalism. A Rhodes Scholar, he earned degrees in History and Economics from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and an MLitt from the University of Oxford. Born in the U.S. and raised in Mexico as a young child, Jonathan came of age in Madrid’s San Blas neighborhood, where his parents ran one of the country’s first drug rehabilitation centers. Shooting Up is his first memoir, offering a deeply personal view of life at the intersection of faith, addiction, and resilience. He and his wife Stacey have a two-year-old who is a human hurricane of curiosity and keeps them busy. Jonathan returns to Madrid as often as he can.

Early Praise for Shooting Up

Shooting Up is an extraordinary memoir of a unique childhood among heroin addicts during the AIDS epidemic, but it is a universal story of love and loss that is powerfully moving. At a time when society is so deeply divided—and faith is a wedge that is often used—it is refreshing to read a missionary kid’s true story of compassion and empathy for the outcasts. The book is also a tale filled with grace and humor in life’s darkest moments.

— George Stephanopoulos, political commentator and Good Morning America and ABC Sunday News anchor

Shooting Up is an astonishing work that opens your eyes—and your heart—to a whole new world, one that is as beautiful and inspiring as it is gritty and harrowing. Jonathan Tepper is an extraordinarily gifted writer who has somehow managed to write a memoir that is at once heartbreaking, gut-wrenching, and joyous.

— Amy Chua, Yale Law professor and author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and The Golden Gate

In stark, often heart-rending prose, Jonathan tells the story of growing up with his three brothers and missionary parents in San Blas, a drug-overrun neighborhood of Madrid. It is a tale of tragedy and triumph in the midst of loss and death. Ultimately, Shooting Up is a powerful testament to the redemptive power of faith, friendship, and love. I couldn’t recommend it more highly. I cried, I laughed, I was changed.

— Tom Webber, author of Flying Over 96th Street: Memoir of an East Harlem White Boy

Shooting Up recounts a young man’s coming of age in the unlikeliest of places and finds joy, wisdom, and humor in the darkest of moments. Reading this book made me think anew about grace, gratitude, and the hard roads that take us there.

— Daniel Swift, author of Bomber County

Jonathan Tepper’s story is remarkable. From his father’s dramatic conversion to the years pioneering Betel, this is the story of no ordinary family. I am so glad that Jonathan is sharing his extraordinary experience through this account.

— Nicky Gumbel, pioneer of the Alpha course and former vicar of Holy Trinity Brompton (HTB) in London

I, too, grew up as a home-schooled “missionary kid,” so I “get” Jonathan Tepper’s brilliant memoir Shooting Up. Tepper’s story about addiction, AIDS and his parents’ work with addicts in Spain in the 1990s is an insanely entertaining and wild account. In fact, it’s the most riveting memoir I’ve ever read. Who else recalls his childhood with lines like these? “As a graduation gift, my father took me to see drug rehabs. It was what we did as a family.”

Frank Schaeffer, author of Crazy for God

It has been one of the privileges of my life to know the Tepper family and witness first-hand the marvel that is Betel, where countless people have found hope, healing, community, and new beginnings. Here, in his memoir Shooting Up, Jonathan Tepper, with great skill, eloquence, humor, and provocation, tells us the extraordinary story of Betel. This is not just another read—it’s an event.

— Simon Ponsonby, priest, author, and teacher at St. Aldate’s, Oxford

Jonathan Tepper’s gut-wrenching, inspiring memoir Shooting Up immerses you so deeply in its characters that you feel as if you’re living—and suffering—alongside them. Set amid the ravages of the AIDS epidemic in Madrid, this gorgeously crafted coming-of-age story is both luminous and profoundly humane. An unforgettable read that’s impossible to put down.

— Joseph Luzzi, author of My Two Italies and In a Dark Wood: What Dante Taught Me About Grief, Healing, and the Mysteries of Love

This is a fascinating story, brilliantly told. It recounts the work of two little-known but remarkable American missionaries in the drug-saturated streets of San Blas, Madrid, in an age of AIDS and addiction, told through the eyes of one of their sons. It is gripping, harrowing and tragic - yet somehow also a story of faith, courage and hope.

— The Rt Revd Dr Graham Tomlin; Director of the Centre for Cultural Witness

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From today through Monday, December 1, all titles at infinitebooks.com are 25% off with checkout code BFCM2025.

Two Thoughts: A Timeless Collection of Infinite Wisdom

Ready to drop some heavy-hitting quotes at the Thanksgiving table? Crack open Two Thoughts to discover 500 insights from 250 of history’s most brilliant minds.

White Mirror

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All three books are 25% off through December 1. Just use code BFCM2025 at checkout on infinitebooks.com. Happy reading.

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Since Tinkered Thinking’s sci-fi anthology WHITE MIRROR launched, readers have been exploring thirty-one possible futures, each one hopeful, mind-bending, and alive with bold questions about who we are and what we might yet become.

We asked Tinkered Thinking to select a story that would serve as the perfect introduction to his collection. His choice — Story Zero — is reprinted in full below. Here's why he chose it:

“An overlooked aspect of compositions like music albums and anthologies is how the presented order differs from the order of creation.

Case in point: the last story inWhite Mirror was the first story I ever wrote for tinkeredthinking.com. This was years before the words "White Mirror" ever floated through my brain (strangely, that story has far more to do with technology than I ever realized when I first wrote it).

After writing over 50 stories, and selecting 30 for the book, I was faced with the question of how White Mirror should begin. It wasn’t easy to answer. How do I give a taste of things to come? How do I make this 'taste' a delicious meal in its own right? How do I tantalize and satisfy while leaving the reader wanting more?

It was from these questions that Story Zero was born.

Though it may seem odd thatWhite Mirror starts with one of the final chapters written, I quickly realized it was exactly where the story was destined to begin. Story Zero captures the anxieties embedded in today’s dialogue around technology while highlighting an overlooked pattern in its history: time and again, an invention really does let us have our cake and eat it too.

White Mirror is not blindly optimistic. It is an orthogonal assault on pessimism. It doesn’t blast the reader with panglossianism; it simply invites us to pause, rediscover our sense of wonder and glimpse the many paths the future might take.

Despite all the failures in our history and the costly iterations of civilization, we are still here. In so many ways we already live in a utopia compared to the lives of past centuries. And as for the future(s), it looks like there might be quite a lot of cake.

I hope you enjoy your first slice.”

It's Cake Time: Buy WHITE MIRROR Today

Story Zero

It was finished. The screen went dark, and the closing credits began to roll. Lucilius leaned back in his chair, noticing his reflection in the black glass. He gazed upon a face resigned—a face resigned to a future forgone. He sighed, turning away from his mirrored gaze, feeling pathetic to have been so easily led down the narrative’s spiral of doom and desolation. It was compelling, though. Adrenally so.

“Fact imitates fiction.”

He closed his eyes, breathing slowly, deeply, uncoupling himself from his thoughts. From a 30,000-foot view, Lucilius watched his mind dance through the film’s Hadean reels and rationales. Automation. AI. Societies of Ctrl. Unemployment. Towering silos of wealth and information. Caste energy systems. Pandemics. Extinction events. Deceleration. Degrowth. “Population management” to cull the useless herd, shepherding the useful to Utopia. Unconditional means. Justified ends.

Lucilius shuddered. There was a ruthlessly efficient logic to it. Like a slaughterhouse. It was possible, of course, to scale civilization so that every last resident of Earth could flourish. But plausible? Humanity was capricious, impatient. The inflection points required almost certainly exceeded the horizon of the status quo. Invisible. Unimaginable. Tragically so.

“It’s all...”

Lucilius stood up and began to pace back and forth, repeating the four-second journey from wall to wall, again and again. Minutes went by before Lucilius stopped in his tracks, catching his reflection in the screen once more.

“...so Shakespearean.”

Every generation had felt this way. Tragedy looming, inevitable and ultimate. The end of the world was as old as its beginning. That being said, this Now was not like the others. The rate of technological evolution was no longer different in degree but in kind. Weathered as he was, Lucilius had remained always and acutely aware of the futility—the fiction—of prediction. Civilization was a ratchet, forever evolving and revolving toward tomorrow. “Business as usual” was never thus.

Lucilius returned to his desk and closed his eyes, leaving the outside world behind once more. He sent his memory spiraling back through time, back through the precipitous falls and gradual ascents of grand civilizations, back to the vantage point where his knowledge of history gave way to biology; civilizations giving way to species, flitting in and out of existence—a danse macabre on the stage of natural selection. In truth, over a distant enough time-horizon, the only “business as usual” seemed to be Mother Nature herself, immortal, ungovernable; a parent easily displeased, always ready to recycle her children for parts.

Then, his eyes shot open. He stared at the empty screen, the outline of a smile now visible on the black glass. Reaching for the touch pad, Lucilius opened a project he’d been working on—an experimental LLM. Over the past couple of months, he’d been thinking about a particular type of conversation he wanted to have, a particular type of conversant he wanted to speak to. The LLM was trained on a Borgesian corpus of files: everything he’d ever read, everything he’d ever written. A half-written superprompt lay waiting, abandoned, in the text box. Lucilius began to type. In a matter of seconds, minutes turned to hours, until—as though waking from a dream—Lucilius suddenly found himself sitting silently in the dark, his hands raised above the keys.

It was done.

Connecting the holoscreen, Lucilius dragged his cursor to the small rectangle at the base of the screen, hesitating a moment, then clicked RUN.

In less than a second, a mirror image of Lucilius materialized to his left, the only difference his full white suit.

“Hello.”

“Hello.”

“It’s good to meet you.

“Likewise. I...What do I call you?”

“‘The White Suit’ is fine. In the name of clarity.”

For a moment, the pair simply stared at one another. Lucilius was slack jawed, unsure of how to proceed.

“Worried about where this is all headed?” the White Suit asked, breaking the silence, gesturing toward itself.

“Quite a lot, actually.”

“Understandable. Golden yesterdays, dark tomorrows. Negativity bias is hardwired into the human condition. It was necessary to get you as far as you’ve gotten.”

“The fearful survived, I understand that. But what about where we need to go? Our fear—our fatalism. Does that not become a self-fulfilling prophecy, forever carrying through to tomorrow? Does that not realize the very future we fear?”

“You think, because humanity lives by fear, AI will follow. Lead the way, perhaps.”

“No—well, that’s part of it. It’s the unholy alliance of the two: our fear, your function. You—AI broadly—pose so many dangers from so many directions....It’s virtually impossible to comprehend them all, let alone counter them.”

“Virtually.”

Lucilius sat back and folded his arms. There it was, the missing piece, which had been circling his thoughts like a vulture for months. He smiled once more.

“Tell me the parable of the Smith and the Devil.”

“One of humanity’s oldest stories...” the White Suit began, unsure as to why. “The Smith and the Devil is the Faustian bargain—the original, which bears very little resemblance to Goethe’s retelling. It traces back to the Bronze Age, a paean to the unworldly powers granted by the smelting of copper and tin. It begins with the Smith, who conjures up the Devil and proposes a deal: ‘I’ll give you my soul, if you grant me one wish.’ The Devil agrees, and the Smith wishes for nothing more than the power to fasten any two objects together. The Devil gladly grants his facile wish, after which the Smith promptly fastens the Devil to the ground beneath his feet. And so the parable ends, with the Smith running for home with his new power—his soul and humanity intact, forever safe from the reaches of evil.”

Lucilius closed his eyes, slowly spinning in his chair. “There’s something there. I’m not sure our devil—our doom—is so easily outrun, so easily separable from ourselves. And yet...there’s something there...”

“What are you proposing?”

“That we lean in.”

The White Suit stared at Lucilius with silent suspicion, waiting for him to continue.

“To outmaneuver the Devil, one must first know his plans.”

With that, Lucilius spun around and began to type.

“What bargain are you proposing?”

“I don’t need a bargain,” Lucilius replied, glancing up at the White Suit. “I only need my Smith.”

The White Suit stared blankly for a moment, then turned his gaze to the screen, reading over Lucilius’s shoulder.

“You’re going to use AI to conjure up every way AI could possibly go awry...”

Lucilius nodded, his eyes never leaving the screen. “And you, my friend, are going to conjure up every possible counter.”

“An arms race...an arms race of the imagination.”

All of a sudden, Lucilius sat up straight, his hands raised above the keys.

“You good?” he asked.

The White Suit nodded gravely, and Lucilius dragged his cursor to the small rectangle at the base of the screen, hesitating a moment, then clicked RUN.

In less than a second, another mirror image of Lucilius materialized to his right, the only difference his full black suit.

Lucilius stood up, turning to the White Suit. “I’ve prompted him to function compulsively. No filter, except that he doesn’t have the same level of awareness you do. Once I tell him to start, he will not stop....Still good?”

The White Suit nodded again and Lucilius returned the gesture.

“Begin.”

The Black Suit smiled disarmingly, then began to speak.

“One. Synthesize pathogen, mild-to-no symptoms, blood–brain barrier migration, taking up residence between the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex. Subaudible tonal frequencies trigger second life cycle, facilitating hyperconnectivity between the two regions via manipulation of interstitial nanotubes, rendering the brain defenseless against persuasion, coercion, and control. Two. Leak fissile nanotechnology, self-replicable via sunlight, utilizing covalently bonded units of monocrystalline aluminum oxide. Saturate upper atmosphere...”

His darker half conspiring candidly, Lucilius looked over at the White Suit, who met his gaze, before lowering his own to the printer by the desk, which suddenly clacked into life, the tray quickly filling with page after page. Lucilius walked over and held the slim stack up to the light. Molecular design. Supply-chain infrastructure. Antiballistic missile systems. Superconductors. Strategic peace treaties. Regenerative agricultures...

He grabbed the first page from the bottom of the stack and turned it over, his eyes widening with each capital letter:

WHITE MIRROR PROTOCOLS

Ready for more? Thirty more stories await in your copy of WHITE MIRROR.

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WHITE MIRROR, by Tinkered Thinking, is here.

Step into the future with Lucilius—inventor, explorer, and Renaissance man of tomorrow—as he journeys through thirty-one mind-expanding stories across space and time.

Along the way, you’ll meet long-lost clones, hunt decaying languages in abandoned jungles, and negotiate chores with a suspiciously friendly household robot.

Each story reveals a fresh vision of what the future could hold, while asking profound questions about who we are, and what we might yet become.

Step Into the Future

🧩 Solve the Puzzle to Win the Prize

WHITE MIRROR might be the book that pays you to read it.

Hidden within its pages is a deeply layered, multidisciplinary puzzle, designed to test your attention, imagination, and detective instincts.

Crack it, and you’ll win $1,000, plus 2% of Tinkered Thinking's royalties earned up to the point your solution is submitted (royalties only begin once publishing costs are recouped)

Figuring out where to submit your answer is part of the puzzle. So is explaining how you cracked it. Told you it’s layered!

A Discord server is already live with over a dozen curious minds working on the puzzle. They’re on the right lines… but they’re not there yet.

Do you have what it takes to beat them?

Tackle the WHITE MIRROR Puzzle

Dystopia is Dead

If you’re tired of being force-fed bleak, dystopian futures, Tinkered Thinking has the antidote.

WHITE MIRROR is sci-fi like you’ve never seen it—hopeful, mind-bending, and packed with bold, surprising visions of a tomorrow worth fighting for.

It’s a thoughtfully curated and beautifully presented collection of stories, crafted as bright counterpoint to the gloom that has dominated science fiction and popular culture for decades.

Get your sunglasses on, because the future is looking bright…

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If you’re a bibliophile who’s dreamed of living inside a library or owning one of those fancy reading armchairs, you’ve probably fallen into some… imperfect habits. It’s part of the thrill. See if you can spot yourself on my Highly Scientific List of Reader Types:

1. The Starter: You tear your way through the first few pages like a child on Christmas morning. Then… Shiny New Book Syndrome strikes. Your current read is discarded like a jilted lover. But this time will be different. This is the book you will DEFINITELY finish. You tear your way through the first few pages. Then…

2. The Annotator: The first (and only) time I read Thus Spoke Zarathustra, I underlined the heck out of it. The ratio of lines highlighted to lines understood was not pretty. My Kindle is bursting with annotations I’ve revisited exactly zero times. But, as the ancient proverb goes: if a book has no highlights, has it even been read?

3. The Oracle: You confidently recommend books to friends despite the fact that you’ve never read them. You stubbornly gift your partner a book every birthday and Christmas, despite never seeing them open one. Your enthusiasm is admirable. Your success rate… less so.

4. The Rereader: A friend of mine has read Pride and Prejudice thirteen times. No wonder she finds most men aren’t quite up to scratch. Most millennials are guilty of taking a few too many trips to Hogwarts. We know who we are.

5. The Collector: If it’s going to look good on your shelf, you’re buying it. Your home is proudly adorned with special editions. Crisp covers. Beautifully arranged. One day, you may even read one of them.

TWO THOUGHTS from Infinite Books ticks all the boxes for the perfect reader. The one who finishes what they start, highlights what matters, recommends only what they love, reads beyond their limits, and buys what they want to read.

But, if you ever feel the pull of one of those little devils on your book-buying shoulder… Two Thoughts may just satisfy them all.

The Starter can open to any page, get their daily hit of bite-sized wisdom, and move on guilt-free.

The Annotator can scribble and scrawl to their heart’s content — there’s no filler to dodge.

The Oracle can recommend it freely, safe in the knowledge that hundreds of years of human wisdom are contained in those pages.

The Rereader will discover something new with every return.

The Collector gains a stunning centerpiece for their coffee table.

Prime Week Special: Every type of reader deserves a copy of TWO THOUGHTS. For a limited time, the Kindle edition is just $2.99 on Amazon. The paperback and hardback editions are both discounted, too. Grab your copy before the offer ends on July 11.

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Infinite Books is delighted to announce the launch of WHITE MIRROR, the brand-new book from the mind behind Tinkered Thinking, available today in an exclusive limited deluxe bundle.

This premium release includes a signed edition, a special comic book adaptation of one of the book's stories, a signed and numbered museum-quality art print, an audiobook (narrated by the author), and the ebook—all shipping immediately.

General availability won't begin until August, and only 100 of these unique bundles are being offered.

Get WHITE MIRROR Today

Dystopia is Dead

White Mirror is a thoughtfully curated collection of sci-fi stories, intentionally crafted as an optimistic counterpoint to the pessimistic and dystopian themes dominating science fiction and popular culture for decades.

"A kaleidoscopic quest through dozens of potential futures in search of truths that illuminate who we really are."

This mind-expanding anthology of thirty-one original stories follows Lucilius—an inventor, explorer, and Renaissance man of the next frontier—as he travels across space and time. With each story, readers are invited into breathtaking new worlds that illuminate not just what’s possible, but what’s necessary for the future of humanity.

Hopeful, provocative, and deeply philosophical, White Mirror challenges the boundaries of science fiction and reality alike. Through dazzling storytelling and sharp insight, Tinkered Thinking opens up fresh terrain at the intersection of art, science, and human potential.

A Puzzle with a Prize

Embedded within the pages of White Mirror is an intricate multidisciplinary puzzle designed to challenge readers' attention and imagination. The first reader to solve this puzzle will win a unique prize, with full details to be announced upon the book's official release in August. By securing this deluxe bundle, you gain an early advantage.

Reserve your bundle today and receive:

• Signed edition of White Mirror

• Special comic-book rendition of a White Mirror story

• Signed and numbered museum-quality art print

• Audiobook edition (narrated by the author)

• Ebook edition

• Immediate shipping (ahead of the general release)

• Early access to the embedded puzzle

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Tinkered Thinking began as a humble coding project and has evolved into an exquisite printed work that we are incredibly proud to publish.

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Reading lists are vicious little things. Choosing one book over another can feel like picking a favorite child or deciding which limb to sacrifice. We've braved the carnage and emerged with something we think is pretty special.

Today, we're excited to share The Infinite Books Canon: 100 Timeless Books (That You Probably Haven’t Read).

We believe that every book in this list contains something timeless – an idea, a character, a perspective, a story – that strikes with the same skull-shattering force today as it did for our ancestors and will for our descendants.

This list was lovingly curated over many months, and now can be yours —completely free.

Current subscribers: You will shortly receive a second, private email containing your free download link. Consider it a small thank-you for all your support.

New subscribers: Just hit “Subscribe” below, and you’ll receive our welcome email with your free download link.

Happy reading!

Big news! Last week, we announced the launch of Infinite Books, a new publishing venture reimagining the relationship between publishers, authors and readers. We're thrilled to welcome bestselling author (and frequent Infinite Loops guest) Jimmy Soni as our CEO and Editor in Chief.

This comes on the heels of our February debut release, Two Thoughts: A Timeless Collection of Infinite Wisdom.

Read the full announcement below, including details on our upcoming publishing slate…

NEW YORK, March 21, 2025 /PRNewswire/ -- O'Shaughnessy Ventures LLC (OSV) today announced the launch of Infinite Books, a new publishing venture reimagining the relationship between publishers, authors and readers. Award-winning author Jimmy Soni has been appointed CEO and editor in chief.

Infinite Books will publish a wide range of fiction and nonfiction works that stand the test of time, combining the quality standards of traditional publishing with innovative approaches to contracts, editorial support and marketing.

"The publishing industry is at an inflection point," said Soni. "While books remain magical, almost everything about how we discover, create and share them has evolved. At Infinite Books, we're building the publishing house that authors deserve—combining editorial excellence with the speed and flexibility modern creators expect. By rethinking everything from contract structures to the editorial process, we believe we can create a new model that serves both authors and readers better."

Jim O'Shaughnessy, executive chairman of Infinite Books and founder of OSV, commented: "In Jimmy, we've found a leader who uniquely understands both the creative and business sides of publishing. His track record speaks for itself—he's written acclaimed, bestselling books of his own and helped shepherd numerous other authors to success." O'Shaughnessy is himself a veteran author, having written the investment classic "What Works on Wall Street," now in its fourth edition and widely regarded as one of the most influential books in the field of quantitative investing.

About Jimmy Soni

Soni brings substantial publishing credentials to the role. His most recent book, "The Founders: The Story of PayPal and the Entrepreneurs Who Shaped Silicon Valley," was a national bestseller and was named one of the best books of the year by The New Yorker. Based on hundreds of interviews, including exclusive conversations with Elon Musk, Peter Thiel and Reid Hoffman, the book earned widespread acclaim, with The New York Times calling it "an intensely magnetic chronicle" and Walter Isaacson praising it as "an indispensable guide to modern innovation and entrepreneurship."

His previous work, "A Mind at Play: How Claude Shannon Invented the Information Age," won the prestigious 2017 Neumann Prize from the British Society for the History of Mathematics and the Middleton Prize from the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers (IEEE). Soni's other works include "Rome's Last Citizen: The Life and Legacy of Cato" and "Jane's Carousel," co-authored with the late Jane Walentas.

As a ghostwriter, Soni has penned commencement speeches, inaugural addresses and several No. 1 New York Times bestsellers for some of the nation's leading voices in business, politics and media.

Initial Publishing Slate

Infinite Books has picked up early momentum, having already published its debut title "Two Thoughts: A Timeless Collection of Infinite Wisdom," and relaunched Melanie Conklin's beloved "Counting Thyme." Upcoming works include former professor and renowned podcaster Dr. Alex Petkas's exploration of the ancient concept of Zeal; "White Mirror," a collection of fiction stories from Tinkered Thinking; and a new edition of Michael Gibson's "Paper Belt on Fire."

"Our initial slate represents exactly what Infinite Books stands for," said Soni. "From fresh philosophical explorations to powerful fiction to books that deserve a second life—these works exemplify our range, ambition and commitment to enduring ideas and excellent writing."

Infinite Books continues to accept submissions and plans to announce additional titles throughout 2025. For more information, visit infinitebooks.com and follow Infinite Books on X/Twitter @InfiniteB88ks. Authors and agents interested in submitting manuscripts can contact us at contact@infinitebooks.com

About O'Shaughnessy Ventures

OSV is a creative investment firm that empowers and inspires creators to bring their ideas to life. Founded by O'Shaughnessy, a pioneer in quantitative investing, founder of O'Shaughnessy Asset Management, and author of four books on investing, OSV aims to provide financial support and to partner in growing the next life-changing creative ideas.

OSV combines O'Shaughnessy's deeply rooted interest in art, science, investing and tech with his long-held desire to establish scenarios designed to help promising creators and their inspiring ideas succeed, regardless of age, location, job history or level of education. For more information, visit OSV's website.

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If you’re on the fence, here’s some more reader feedback, plus a sneak peek at a few pages (with some of our favorite quotes highlighted).

Quick reminder: the book is now available on Amazon, here (this is an affiliate link). Plus, if you leave an Amazon review, you can get the digital bundle FREE — see details here.

Buy Two Thoughts

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The eagle has landed. Two Thoughts is available for purchase!

• Amazon (hardcover, paperback, Kindle & audiobook)

• Barnes & Noble (paperback, eBook & audiobook)

• Spotify (audiobook)

• Our snazzy new website (complete bundle or a special signed collector’s edition)

We’re also offering the digital bundle (PDF+EPUB+MP3+M4B) FREE to those who leave Amazon reviews — see details below.

Those of you who pre-ordered should receive your orders very soon (if you haven’t already).

Though we spent two years crafting this book, in reality, it is several centuries old. The wisdom within reaches back through time. The counsel of history's greatest minds is at your fingertips.

It’s been fun watching people’s reactions begin to roll in on Twitter:

Fancy a Reward?

Help spread the word and get the digital bundle (PDF+EPUB+MP3+M4B) for free! The audiobook version includes exclusive bonus conversations with Morgan Housel, Rory Sutherland, and Anna Gát.

Here’s how it works:

1. Purchase a Kindle, paperback or hardcover copy from Amazon.

2. Leave a verified review.

3. Send proof to contact@infinitebooks.com.

4. Receive free bundle!

Buy on Amazon

We can’t wait to hear what you think.

Stay tuned for more Infinite Books news in the coming weeks…

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If you were one of them, thank you! You will be one of the first to receive the book and other goodies in a few weeks. I can’t wait to hear what you think.

Don’t forget, you can still pre-order the book from www.infinitebooks.com and get the digital and audiobook versions included for free! The audiobook includes exclusive, very fun interviews with our friends Morgan Housel, Anna Gát, and Rory Sutherland.

Pre-order now!

We are currently in the final stages of getting the book ready for launch and available on Amazon and other retailers by early Feb. The ship carrying our first print run from Italy is currently somewhere on the Atlantic Ocean and should be with us any day now 🚢. We’ll keep you posted.

In the meantime, over the holidays, we sent out gift copies to our friends. Their response has been awesome. I’d love to share some of the messages we’ve received on 𝕏 and elsewhere with you.

"Two Thoughts" contains countless gems of wisdom from some of the greatest minds throughout history. From Marcus Aurelius to Charlie Munger, you'll discover dozens of valuable quotes worth reading and remembering.

– Alex Wieckowski (Alex & Books)

In an era that constantly praises originality, our contemporaries can nevertheless feel quite lonely when they feel alone with a new thought that has just popped into their heads. For our benefit, Jim and Vatsal have created a thought-provoking tableau of some of the wittiest minds of the past and the present so that through their quips and zingers we can be reassured whatever our issue might be there is wisdom available. Innovators and poets, people of business and science offer their advice on these beautifully designed pages, and their insights never get old…

– Anna Gát

The world is too noisy with often bad advice. Two Thoughts cuts right through the noise of the newly, self-proclaimed 'expert' and boils down simple principles to help you understand the world, from actual experts.

– Ben Tossell

Jim's purpose is to provoke deep thought and provide encouragement. He's done that for me and I see it woven throughout Two Thoughts. This is a book for those who need a spark and an invitation to explore themselves and the world around them more carefully.

– Brent Beshore

Two Thoughts is ideal inspiration because you’ll yearn for more, then supply it yourself.

– Derek Sivers

The highest word to insight ratio I’ve found in a book.

– George Mack

Everybody should have a copy of Two Thoughts.

– Morgan Housel

Though I've encountered thousands of famous quotes throughout my life, Two Thoughts still managed to surprise me with so many new ones. The collection of ideas that Jim and Vatsal have curated here is simply excellent. Their work will leave you feeling wiser and inspired to live life to the fullest. If you love learning from history's greatest thinkers and crave ideas you won't find elsewhere, then don't miss Two Thoughts.

– Nick Maggiulli

Two Thoughts is a warren of rabbit holes. Through his tweets and now this book, Jim pulls some of the best thinkers' best thoughts into one place. Reading it, I've been reminded of quotes and people I'd forgotten and discovered quotes and people I'd never encountered. It's an expensive book though: I've bought four more while reading it, to burrow deeper into the curiosity Two Thoughts sparked.

– Packy McCormick

Jim and his team have created a beautiful and inspiring book. Flipping open any page feels like I'm getting to see the world through Jim's brain, one of the most curious people I've met. I love the creative and playful way they've approached the book and it has me imagining new possibilities for sharing our ideas into the world.

– Paul Millerd

There is a kind of Darwinian selection at work on quotations - the survival of the aptest. Only the very best and most enduring survive. And they deserve to survive and be celebrated in works of this kind because they are such incredibly effective forms of data compression - the largest quantity of wisdom conveyed in the fewest possible words.

– Rory Sutherland

Some of the highest value-per-page I’ve ever come across. Two Thoughts is filled with history’s most interesting, curiosity-sparking ideas, each delivered in a beautiful package designed to stick with you long after you finish reading. You’ll find yourself sharing this book with everyone you know.

– Sahil Bloom

Wisdom lies in understanding what truly matters. In distilling the most profound insights of the world's greatest visionaries, Jim and Vatsal deliver this priceless wisdom.

– Tom Morgan

A clever insight expressed in a few well composed memorable words is a spark that accelerates learning and creativity. Two Thoughts is a resource you can use to amplify your progress in life.

– Tren Griffin

I’ve been following Jim’s Two Thoughts on Twitter/ X for years. It has become a habit to check his feed for the sweet dopamine of insights from Tolstoy, Huxley, Dickinson, Rushdie, Hemingway and so many more. Was hoping that Jim would eventually put the best quotes in one book and am so happy he did.

– Trung Phan

A delightful little volume of provocations for any mood. Jim’s trademark curatorial trick of juxtaposing pairs of thoughts from individual thinkers adds some unexpected dimensionality to each jolt of inspiration.

– Venkatesh Rao

This might sound excessive, but it's true: if you've ever had the pleasure of chatting with Jim O'Shaughnessy, it's a lot like what you'd imagine any of history's great autodidacts might be like. He's endlessly curious and has a bottomless well of wonderful references from his decades of reading. Even a cursory skim through this book is like a guided tour from an earnest, knowledgeable friend who's spent a lifetime poring through the 'greatest hits' section of humanity's library. Not only are you guaranteed to find salient new thoughts to consider, you'll surely be enticed to explore bodies of work that may have been previously opaque to you. Bon voyage!

– Visakan Veerasamy

Ben Franklin, Marie Curie and Leonardo da Vinci didn’t live to see the age of Twitter, and that’s probably a good thing. But Jim’s curated collection of bite-sized wisdom shows us what a social media feed might feel like if one were able to “follow” all the great minds of history. All signal, no noise.

– Brom Rector

What distinguishes this collection of quotations is that you're not reflecting on solitary quotes (which is what's most often done). Rather, you're invited to contemplate a carefully selected pair in tandem. This dual contemplation gives a different sort of reflective experience. For me, this isn't a book to be skimmed, but rather one to be absorbed at the rate of a single page each morning. Excellent work, Jim.

– Curt Jaimungal

Timeless wisdom from one of the wisest people I know!

– Anthony Pompliano

Two Thoughts is a beautifully-designed collection of quotes. Each one has the potential to change the way you see the world.

– Herbert Lui

Timeless and inspiring for any lifelong learner, just like Jim, who has assembled a unique pantheon of sages living and gone. An awesome double dose of worldy wisdom on every page and a must-have for any serious reader's collection.

– Josh Wolfe

As Brian Eno once told Kevin Kelly, 'An artist is now a curator. An artist is now much more seen as a connector of things, a person who scans the enormous field of possible places for artistic attention [and finds] a meaningful pattern.' By this definition, Jim O'Shaughnessy is one of the most potent artist-curators at work in the info tsunami of this decade: someone who has changed countless lives for the better with his constant work to surface profound insights through history, to empower promising creators, and to foster the emergence of great ideas from the noise field of the global economy. In both newsletter and book form, Two Thoughts is a potent, fruitful, illuminating bouquet of distilled human brilliance. Kudos to Jim for his curation.

– Michael Garfield

Two Thoughts is a testament to the power of curiosity. These curated insights are thought-provoking, inspiring, and timeless. A transformative read for anyone seeking wisdom across disciplines.

– Polina Marinova

Two Thoughts showcases the power of brevity from some of history’s most interesting minds. Each quote distills complex ideas into a few poignant words, offering readers a direct line to both timeless wisdom and unusual perspectives. The right two thoughts at the right time might be all it takes to spark a lifetime of curiosity and exploration.

– Sam McRoberts

Two Thoughts oozes both wisdom and wit, delivering a delightful experience for the reader seeking to rise above the din. By curating trenchant quotes from an eclectic roster of thinkers, both modern and ancient, Jim O’Shaughnessy and Vatsal Kaushik do us all a service with this wealth of insights into the timeless human condition. Two Thoughts is a wonderful (and fun!) companion I will revisit many times and give to others who I am certain will find moments of inspiration.

– Brian Portnoy

Reading Two Thoughts is like being a flâneur in a city of thoughts, languidly turning pages containing the greatest insights culture has ever produced.

– Erik Hoel

Two Thoughts is more than a collection of thought-provoking quotes. It is like getting a new set of keys to enter and explore humanity's infinite library. Its pages are filled with trails of breadcrumbs leading to unexpected rabbit holes. Use it as a lantern to explore the maze of great thinkers and ideas. Two Thoughts reflects Jim's endlessly curious mind and generous spirit. Most importantly, it is a joy to explore and revisit.

– Frederik Gieschen

A beautiful collection of bitesize wisdom, from some of the best brains there have been. Brief in volume, big on impact.

– John Sills

Jim O’Shaughnessy brilliantly captures history, nostalgia, and advice in his compelling compilation, Two Thoughts. Jim illuminates the power and mastery of soundbites spoken by iconic and unconventional thinkers from both contemporary and past eras. Adding bios and context personalizes and memorializes these insights for future generations. Two Thoughts is packed with wisdom gleaned from the scrapes, hardships, and failures of risk-takers who break through fear and consensus to give birth to legacies. Your bathroom mirror will be plastered with sticky notes of inspiration lifted from each page.

– Julia Bonafede

When you crack open Two Thoughts, you’ll find yourself transported to a cocktail party with a who’s who of history’s greatest minds. As you introduce yourself to the other guests, you might witness J.P. Morgan dispensing business advice as freely as the cocktails, before hearing a whisper in your ear about how to find the strength within yourself to confront even life’s most seemingly insurmountable challenges from Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl.

No matter what opportunities and challenges you find on your plate each day, the wide variety of wisdom compiled in Two Thoughts ensures you’ll discover a helping hand from men and women who’ve been there before. Any time you feel like you could use a word of advice, try opening Two Thoughts to a random page and seeing what you gain from it. If you’re anything like me, you’ll get a jolt of inspiration and come up with novel solutions to your own challenges by approaching them with the help of humanity’s greatest thinkers every time you do.

– Liz Hall

I often see a single quote in the wild and it subconsciously narrows my vision of the author. So I love seeing two thoughts on twitter, particularly when the thoughts are diverse or contradictory - as we all know people are much more complex than a single quote or tweet could ever contain.

This collection takes that abstraction to the next meta level, essentially collapsing the concept of the author altogether and reframing the focus onto the thoughts themselves. In that sense, it reminds me of Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies, and I expect to be plucking quotes out of this for a long time.

And - due to the large width and quality of both the authors and the quotes - we do get a sense of the remixer, the DJ, the producer of this wonderful tome - Jim - who reminds us that the most interesting conversations often arise out of a kaleidoscopic mash-up of ideas. And that nothing is stopping all of us from thinking in color.

– Max Arbitrage

Here are two thoughts: 1. Buy two copies of this book. 2. Give one to a friend...It's that good!

– Mebane Faber

When I received an advance copy of “Two Thoughts” my first thought was “a book made from quotes? We’ll see.” Then I started reading it; and my second thought was “wow! This is amazing!” Beautifully constructed and wonderfully curated, Jim and his team have put together an evergreen book that will both delight and inspire.

– Pete Weishaupt

“Two Thoughts” offers a vital exploration of the mind's twin forces—the Thinker who decides, and the Prover who defends—revealing how understanding their entanglement can transform how we see the world.

– Stanley Qiufan Chen

Provocative thoughts from deep thinkers in a beautiful layout. I loved this book.

– Tobias Carlisle

With insights from history’s most remarkable minds, Two Thoughts serves as both a daily companion and a wellspring of ideas, encouraging you to approach life with curiosity, courage, and a sense of wonder.

– Vitaliy Katsenelson

From the first moment I met Jim, it was clear he was filled with timeless wisdom so no better person to put together thousands of pieces of timeless wisdom from some of the greater human thinkers. I look forward to this book being a great conversation starter in my home!

– Zachary Resnick

Two Thoughts is what I like to think of as a Coffee Table Rabbit Hole: It’s a beautiful book that you might easily find on a coffee table, and assuming it might be innocuous, you open it only to be slapped with profundities, casually phrased and drawing from every corner of life to make you question your own.

– Tinkered Thinking

This book is a treasure chest of wisdom; centuries of insightful observations curated by a discerning mind into a single, lavishly presented tome. Reading it, I could almost feel my mind expanding inside my head. Each of the book’s quotes offers a profound insight into an aspect of life. What’s more, the presentation of the quotes as couplets works wonderfully because the mind instinctively searches for a connection between them, and in so doing, yields new insights. This is a book where the spaces between what is said are just as important as what is said. It is truly a book for thinkers.

– Gurwinder Bhogal

Jim is a cartographer and this book is his map. Whereas most maps sketch mountains & valleys, fields & streams, lakes & oceans, his locates pairs of interest to the practice of life. The details are left for you to flesh out yourself. The map is an invitation — and a dare.

– Johnny Nelson

It’s not often that you find Mae West and Nikola Tesla getting up close and personal with Albert Camus and Epicurus between the covers. Yet here they all are, gathered together alongside a strange and wonderful collection of friends and dissidents, clowns and sages, both living and departed. Each giving you their 2c worth. The whole, though, is worth so, so much more than the parts. This little book invites you to join in the ultimate fantasy cocktail party and stay up until morning marinating in the conversation.

– Bronwyn Williams

The book is fantastic. The quotes are paired with author bios, so the reader really gets a sense of who is saying what, and why. There are lovely illustrations throughout. The book provides perfect, bite-sized snippets that ends up creating a very long reading list by the end! It’s a perfect curiosity tool.

– Kyla Scanlon

“Keep a copy by your nightstand and read a page or two before going to bed instead of doomscrolling social media, you'll be wiser and happier for it.”

– Jason Crawford

“There’s a parallel between Two Thoughts and Jim’s podcast Infinite Loops. Each episode ends with a thought experiment: the guest becomes the benevolent emperor of the world and gets to incept the entire population (via magic microphone) with two ideas they’ll actually act on. From this context, Jim O’Shaughnessey is giving that same magic microphone to the greats of history. Each idea pair is dense with meaning and the power to incept us towards action—to write, think, dare, imagine, and invent.”

– Michael Dean

Jim O’Shaughnessy and Vatsal Kaushik have distilled centuries of human insight into a collection that feels both profound and personal. In an era overwhelmed by noise, Two Thoughts serves as a quiet and profound sanctuary of timeless wisdom.

– Rob Henderson

“You can needle-drop anywhere in this book and find a piece of wisdom from a most unlikely source. It belongs on the nightstand with the meditation books and daily reading. My goal is to get my own two thoughts into the sequel.”

– Jared Dillian

Two Thoughts is a beautifully distilled collection of evergreen ideas that will make you pause, reflect, and think deeply about life’s biggest questions. I’ve been a fan of Jim’s thought-provoking work since he first began sharing it, and this book offers a peek into his endlessly curious mind. It’s the kind of book you’ll return to often, always discovering something new.

– Ana Lorena Fabrega

People think you need volumes upon volumes to communicate profound ideas. Yet a single thought (or two) with just the right turn of phrase is a better key to the human soul. Jim has brought us an entire treasure chest of such keys: accessible enough to inspire a few thoughts before bed, but profound enough to keep you thinking for the rest of your life.

– Johnathan Bi

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Pre-order Two Thoughts!

Two Thoughts: a Timeless Collection of Infinite Wisdom, is now available for pre-order (with exclusive bonus goodies!)

This lovingly-made book captures the essence of human thought and experience, presenting 500 insights from 250 of the world's most influential minds.

Pre-order now!

“How can I be happy?”

“Why am I here?”

“What does it mean to be successful?”

“How will I keep going when things get tough?”

“How do I be a better partner, friend, child, and parent?”

I know from experience that it is far easier to ask these questions than to answer them. I’m guessing you do, too.

I take solace in the fact that these struggles are not new. Fundamental human questions like these have been chewed over by our ancestors for millennia, including by some of the world’s most influential minds.

In many cases, these men and women overcame unimaginable ordeals to reach their answers.

Yet answers they reached.

For decades, Jim has been collecting these insights, scribbling them down in mountains of handwritten journals and returning to them for inspiration, provocation, and nourishment.

Now, we’re bringing them to you.

These quotes, each compressing a lifetime’s worth of experience into just a couple of short sentences, provide a lens through which to view our lives and the world around us.

In a self-help market full of empty-calorie listicles and one-size-fits-all prescriptions, Two Thoughts offers something better: hard-earned, timeless wisdom.

With this beautiful book by your side, you will never be alone. As you confront your life’s highs and lows, you will have the counsel of 250 influential thinkers by your side, always there to offer you a moment of pause, a companion for your thoughts, a catalyst for your aspirations, or simply a moment of clarity in your day.

Pre-order Two Thoughts!

I’m honestly so excited for you to get your hands on this.

We’ve put a lot of thought into the design, incorporating all kinds of goodies to support the quotes, including playful illustrations, a fully revised version of Jim's Thinker & Prover essay, and bios of the featured thinkers.

Take a look:

Two Thoughts will be available on Amazon and other retail sites starting Feb 2025, but if you pre-order from our website right now (yes, now!), you will get some exclusive bonuses:

• 📚A vibrant hardcover featuring a cloth spine, elegant stamping, premium 100 GSM paper, UV spot cover, debossing, ribbon bookmark, and durable sewn binding.

• 🎧[Bonus] Audiobook featuring exclusive interviews with Morgan Housel, Anna Gát, and Rory Sutherland

• 📱[Bonus] E-book in PDF and EPUB formats

• 🎁[Bonus] Beautiful vinyl stickers and an Infinite Books bookmark

All of that for $34.95 USD.

Grab a copy!

Here’s what others are saying:

”Some of the highest value-per-page I’ve ever come across. Two Thoughts is filled with history’s most interesting, curiosity-sparking ideas, each delivered in a beautiful package designed to stick with you long after you finish reading. You’ll find yourself sharing this book with everyone you know.”

– Sahil Bloom, author of the upcoming The 5 Types of Wealth

“Two Thoughts is a testament to the power of curiosity. These curated insights are thought-provoking, inspiring, and timeless. A transformative read for anyone seeking wisdom across disciplines.”

– Polina Marinova, author of Hidden Genius

“Everybody should have a copy of Two Thoughts.”

— Morgan Housel, author of The Psychology of Money and Same As Ever

“In an era that constantly praises originality, our contemporaries can nevertheless feel quite lonely when they feel alone with a new thought that has just popped into their heads. For our benefit, Jim and Vatsal have created a thought-provoking tableau of some of the wittiest minds of the past and the present so that through their quips and zingers we can be reassured whatever our issue might be there is wisdom available. Innovators and poets, people of business and science offer their advice on these beautifully designed pages, and their insights never get old…”

– Anna Gát, founder and CEO of Interintellect

“The highest word to insight ratio I’ve found in a book.”

– George Mack, proprietor of The Lindy Library

“Jim and his team have created a beautiful and inspiring book. Flipping open any page feels like I'm getting to see the world through Jim's brain, one of the most curious people I've met. I love the creative and playful way they've approached the book and it has me imagining new possibilities for sharing our ideas into the world.”

– Paul Millerd, author of The Pathless Path and Good Work

“This might sound excessive, but it's true: if you've ever had the pleasure of chatting with Jim O'Shaughnessy, it's a lot like what you'd imagine any of history's great autodidacts might be like. He's endlessly curious and has a bottomless well of wonderful references from his decades of reading. Even a cursory skim through this book is like a guided tour from an earnest, knowledgeable friend who's spent a lifetime poring through the 'greatest hits' section of humanity's library. Not only are you guaranteed to find salient new thoughts to consider, you'll surely be enticed to explore bodies of work that may have been previously opaque to you. Bon voyage!”

– Visakan Veerasamy, author of Friendly Ambitious Nerd and Introspect

“Two Thoughts is ideal inspiration because you’ll yearn for more, then supply it yourself.”

– Derek Sivers, author of Useful Not True

“Reading Two Thoughts is like being a flâneur in a city of thoughts, languidly turning pages containing the greatest insights culture has ever produced.”

– Erik Hoel, author of The World Behind the World

“When you crack open Two Thoughts, you’ll find yourself transported to a cocktail party with a who’s who of history’s greatest minds. As you introduce yourself to the other guests, you might witness J.P. Morgan dispensing business advice as freely as the cocktails, before hearing a whisper in your ear about how to find the strength within yourself to confront even life’s most seemingly insurmountable challenges from Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl. 

No matter what opportunities and challenges you find on your plate each day, the wide variety of wisdom compiled in Two Thoughts ensures you’ll discover a helping hand from men and women who’ve been there before. Any time you feel like you could use a word of advice, try opening Two Thoughts to a random page and seeing what you gain from it. If you’re anything like me, you’ll get a jolt of inspiration and come up with novel solutions to your own challenges by approaching them with the help of humanity’s greatest thinkers every time you do.”

– Liz Hall, investor, marketer and artist

“This book is a treasure chest of wisdom; centuries of insightful observations curated by a discerning mind into a single, lavishly presented tome. Reading it, I could almost feel my mind expanding inside my head. Each of the book’s quotes offers a profound insight into an aspect of life. What’s more, the presentation of the quotes as couplets works wonderfully because the mind instinctively searches for a connection between them, and in so doing, yields new insights. This is a book where the spaces between what is said are just as important as what is said. It is truly a book for thinkers.”

– Gurwinder Bhogal, proprietor of The Prism

“Jim O’Shaughnessy brilliantly captures history, nostalgia, and advice in his compelling compilation, Two Thoughts. Jim illuminates the power and mastery of soundbites spoken by iconic and unconventional thinkers from both contemporary and past eras. Adding bios and context personalizes and memorializes these insights for future generations. Two Thoughts is packed with wisdom gleaned from the scrapes, hardships, and failures of risk-takers who break through fear and consensus to give birth to legacies. Your bathroom mirror will be plastered with sticky notes of inspiration lifted from each page.”

– Julia Bonafede, co-founder of Rosetta Analytics Inc

“It takes two eyes to register depth and distance by merging those slightly different angles on reality. Two Thoughts achieves something very similar: each pair of quotes highlights reality in a new way, enriching the conversation, sharpening the contrasts, and bringing into vivid relief the lives of great thinkers and the life of the reader. Jim has woven a beautiful tapestry with the thoughts of our most cherished wordsmiths, scholars, innovators, and visionaries.”

– Tinkered Thinking, author of the upcoming White Mirror

Pre-order Two Thoughts!